I could come up with a million different versions to this idea that I have in my head, but I'm so filled with Anger that it's just not looking the way I want it to.

He says he loves me, He says I've been amazing this past year and that I've really come up so well. But he says I have an anger problem, I don't respect the people I love or who love me and that the ego of earning whatever I do has gotten to my head.

We spoke for atleast an hour last night, and I said nothing. I accepted it. I said YES, I do have an anger problem but if I had said ONE word I would've been killed. He would have come right over and killed me.

Things were progressing. I mean, we had / have our difficulties, but we were getting past it. I thought we were working together to learn and accept we might havea difference of opinions but that doesn't mean we needed to kill each other over it, right?

I really am an understanding person, but these mind-games and threats are driving me insane. I can't do it anymore. For the first time, I couldn't cry. I first suppressed it and even while writting it out here, I'm emotional but there are no tears?

My rage has reached new profound religious levels.

I have NO idea where and what I'm going to do about it. \

I want to scream. I really want to scream. I think about suffocating myself, drowning myself, cutting my wrists or ANYTHING to releave myself of this obscurity....