Prickly Pears - Part 1

Self Realization:
Sometimes, there's no real reason for posting and sometimes it's the underlying message behind a post one needs to watch out for.

Question is, how does one tell the difference?

It's been a very interesting weekend last week. A close friend came down from Singapore, and I had my 'Aha!' moments. Yes, it's plural because that is exactly how clueless I pretended to be and hence it became me.

I've thought about putting up the ridiculous conversations I have with people, but I think it's better left to be in a persons sub-conscience rather that out in the open for everyone to laugh at or scowl against.

Conflicting Sense of being :
You know the exhausted feeling of having to constantly explain yourself to people that 'You're a good person', 'You've changed and that's a good thing, not necessarily a bad thing', 'You're not losing your mind'

I HATE IT!

There are days where I just don't care, and the other days where I'm so frustrated I just want to explode.

I quit smoking for a little more than 40 days now and I'm very happy. But it's really hard to swallow the urge to buy a pack to smoke up and walk on buy that line of Ciggies OR even watch someone light up and crave the taste. Sometimes I could walk away easily, other times....I just feel paralyzed. Oh well, that's why they call it an addiction eh?

Just in case you needed to know:-
I am stable. Physically, mentally but emotionally I'm getting there
I quit smoking
I don't do drugs
I don't drink and drive, and
I don't do one night stands


The Weekend:
For the first time in ages, I had a lot of fun this thursday. It will be one of those weekends I'd look back on years later and still be able to laugh. I had a great time Baby Doll, and hopefully my Twin Sister from Canada will join me in a couple of years to repeat the entire play of events :D

Key words:
ED, rings, ballet, plunges!, Bullfrogs, SOTB, Black