Revelation
I had an Aha! moment this morning.
For the past few years, I've been waiting for opportunities to come my way. For example, I've always had a passion for music and never did much to persue it. I had to be told that I had a good voice and a good ear to know that I was good enough. Why didnt I just believe in myself enough to know what I was good at?
Waiting and praying for opportunities is the worst way to misuse time. I knew what I was doing, but never had the courage to admit it.
I used to make lists in my head : Top 10 things to do before I turn 16, 18, 21, (the craziest one) Top 10 things to do before I die, etc etc.
Why make lists anyway? I have to complete the list before I reach the estimated time which puts me under stress that I havent achieved the stuff on my list and then voila! I'm depressed cause it makes me feel unworthy. If I want to do something I'm truely passionate about, I should get off my ass and just do it!
I used to sleep for 3 hours in the afternoon, got to bed around 2am at night and wake up at 11am in the morning. And if you think about, there isnt much I do at all. Eat, sleep, watch TV, & Surf the net with the exceptions of going to university a few days a week, meeting a few friends over the weekend and Dayaan whenever it was possible. Everytime I planned out something, I'd never follow through. That's seriously sad, and it's become a sick rountine.
I'm not the patient type and the waiting period always got me hyper. So why not just create a lifestyle that I was comfortable with, and that was convenient? The only thing stopping me was my insecurities.
The other day, I freaked myself out so bad. The moment I lay down, I couldnt move at all not even to turn on my side. I was floating, and if anyone poked me I wouldnt have felt it. I fell asleep and got up after a few hours feeling like I had a helluva hang over!! What if one day I never woke up? I then thought ,What have I done in my life to prove to myself that Ive lived with no regrets?
Perhaps it was then that I decided that I was going to stop wasting my time, and just really live. What have a got to lose? I have everything I've ever dreamed of and it's keeping me happy.
For the past few years, I've been waiting for opportunities to come my way. For example, I've always had a passion for music and never did much to persue it. I had to be told that I had a good voice and a good ear to know that I was good enough. Why didnt I just believe in myself enough to know what I was good at?
Waiting and praying for opportunities is the worst way to misuse time. I knew what I was doing, but never had the courage to admit it.
I used to make lists in my head : Top 10 things to do before I turn 16, 18, 21, (the craziest one) Top 10 things to do before I die, etc etc.
Why make lists anyway? I have to complete the list before I reach the estimated time which puts me under stress that I havent achieved the stuff on my list and then voila! I'm depressed cause it makes me feel unworthy. If I want to do something I'm truely passionate about, I should get off my ass and just do it!
I used to sleep for 3 hours in the afternoon, got to bed around 2am at night and wake up at 11am in the morning. And if you think about, there isnt much I do at all. Eat, sleep, watch TV, & Surf the net with the exceptions of going to university a few days a week, meeting a few friends over the weekend and Dayaan whenever it was possible. Everytime I planned out something, I'd never follow through. That's seriously sad, and it's become a sick rountine.
I'm not the patient type and the waiting period always got me hyper. So why not just create a lifestyle that I was comfortable with, and that was convenient? The only thing stopping me was my insecurities.
The other day, I freaked myself out so bad. The moment I lay down, I couldnt move at all not even to turn on my side. I was floating, and if anyone poked me I wouldnt have felt it. I fell asleep and got up after a few hours feeling like I had a helluva hang over!! What if one day I never woke up? I then thought ,What have I done in my life to prove to myself that Ive lived with no regrets?
Perhaps it was then that I decided that I was going to stop wasting my time, and just really live. What have a got to lose? I have everything I've ever dreamed of and it's keeping me happy.
posted by Sarah at
11:52
2 Comments:
hey...i like ur post...it made me think..not dat so many other posts of so many other blogs dunt...but den i liked da feel i got wen iread ur post...so U GO GURL...stay happy...muahzz...
well...that was an insight but its never easy to get up n actually do something worthwhile thought im glad uve decided to...if just sitting around makes you unhappy then you should start do things that you love...check all my oder comments too! theyre are sweet like me u kno...hehe...mwah!
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