LIVE, LOVE, BURN, DIE

The feeling of helplessness is like a brick in my path of truth.
When I breathe, I can feel heavy hearted
When I blink, itz like the red sea has to be parted
Every step becomes harder when I walk
Every word has to be spoken with more effort when I talk
I cant sleep, I cant eat. My happiness has been stolen
The irnoy is that my soul refuses to be woken.
They say ignorance is a bliss.
Is it knowledge they truely miss?

"MY DOWNFALL"
Cant find the answers. I've been crawling on my knees looking for anything to keep me from drowning.
I'm searching for you again, I dont know why.It's like a burning desire to be with you, yet.. you are my weakness
I close my eyes and and I can see you. If my eyes are open, my mind finds you. When I'm sleeping, I'm dreaming about you. The words I speak I blurt out you!! Everyone leads to you, most especially "YOU". Why?? Because again itz the same pattern.
I find myself doing things I regret. I blame myself for their mistakes. I'm haunted by your shadows. Your friends seem to be everywhere. Nearly every trail ends with you. WHY?WHY?!!
Is it me? Am I the disaster. I'm dreaming. Somebody tell me I'm dreaming!
The pain is back again. OMG! I'm alone again.I'm thirsting in this desert journey of love. I seem to find it in the most unusual places. I want to be strong. Dammit I know I am.
Why do I follow you? Why do i still search? I dont' want you!!! But I cant seem to get rid of you.There is a way, I think itz the only way...

"SUICIDE"
The cold steel against my wrist feels like ecstasy against the summer heat. I'm doing it, I've made my decision.
As the blood pours out, there's a feeling Oh so intoxicating! Something I could get used to.
My temperature is dropping, the room starts to spin. My eyes are so swollen, off course I had been crying. It started to well up again.
I took a picture of the bloody wrist, and I feel so proud to have done it. Time seems so endles, the tears never stop. As the blood finally ends it's crazy drip, I've decided again that i needed something more!














How I found him, I really don't know. More like how he found me. I sucked in the cocaine breathing it in through my nose. I sneezed, but kept going. It's suddenly very cold, Dammit now it's hot!. I'm shaking, I'm shaking!! Oh Fuck! my nose is bleeding. Tears are rolling down even faster now, I'm drifting away. Everything's getting blurry.Ohhh.. I'm feeling so sick.
My body is shutting down, I found myself on the ground. My eyes closed and the there the last tear rolled. I knew I had gone now.Everything had finally ended.I don't have to see your face, breathe your smell, feel your touch, or hear your name. I'm free, I'm free...